But then, the truth was never really the point. Thin women don’t tell their fat friends ‘You’re not fat’ because they’re confused about the dictionary definition of the word, or their eyes are broken, or they were raised on planets where size 24 is the average for women. They don’t say it because it’s the truth. They say it because fat does not mean just fat in this culture. It can also mean any or all of the following:
Just plain icky
So when they say ‘You’re not fat,’ what they really mean is ‘You’re not a dozen nasty things I associate with the word fat.’ The size of your body is not what’s in question; a tape measure or a mirror could solve that dispute. What’s in question is your goodness, your lovability, your intelligence, your kindness, your attractiveness. And your friends, not surprisingly, are inclined to believe you get high marks in all those categories. Ergo, you couldn’t possibly be fat.
Feeling like a beautiful fat mermaid is important to my health.
US size 14/18/20 depends on where I shop!
Feeling like I can be plus size and still look sexy in lingerie
I am so tired of seeing all of the cute bras only being in the smaller sizes or are ridiculously overpriced. The only bra that fits me right (barely) and supports me is this beige one. I say “screw you” to retailers whom feel the need to either put us in these dowdy bras or to make us pay too much for them.
I enjoy feeling sexy, and a cute bra/panty set is a part of that!
Ditch the Fear of Jiggles and Just Giggle!!!
I often talk about being a big dancer and how I’ve overcome obstacles…but today I want to take a more positive and celebratory route…join me in the passenger seat won’t you?!
I have been modeling for this AMAZING photographer, Nina Méndez Martí, for her project on dance as a form of insanity, joy, exhaustion, all sorts of emotions! Working with her I knew that I had to let go of all my inhibitions, my fears, my concerns, EVERYTHING. So there I was in her studio, dancing in a leotard, on a bed with all my glorious jiggle spots dancing with me…and for a moment….I didn’t feel self conscience or uncomfortable….for a moment…. I felt so….. FREE! I was having so much fun and embraced my leotard riding up and falling down. I let go because this wasn’t about me, it was about the moment! And as soon as you let go of the worries, you begin to realize, “Shit, I’m having a blast!!!”
In a time where we use Instagram, blogs and Facebook to record our everyday adventures, we get caught up in the “omg my arm looks fat here” or “ugh my face is a mess, delete!” we forget about the actual moment. So what your face looks a hot ass mess…it’s because at that moment you were getting low, having fun and didn’t care about posing for the camera phone. So I say post that picture where you think “omg my ass looks flat/huge/weird/etc…” and instead say “omg jumping on the bed for this shoot reminded me of jumping around with my sister when we were young! So fun!”
Dance It Out!
femme self care
don’t ever wear anything that makes you uncomfortable with your body.
practice doing everyday things in your underwear until you don’t mind sharing space with your body.
put on lipstick every time you go anywhere. put on lipstick when you’re sad. put on lipstick when you go to do your laundry. put on lipstick when it’s 3am and you can’t sleep. put on lipstick every time you’re missing something until you become convinced that it will fix everything.
paint your nails in unexpected colors.
congratulate yourself on every little thing that you acheive. you woke up today! you put on clothes! you went outside! you ate ice cream! wow! verbally affirm yourself internally and externally until you don’t think twice about doing so.
find friends you are comfortable around. spend time affirming one another.
listen to music that makes you smile. put one song on repeat or make a playlist. dance while you’re getting dressed.
smile when you want to.
(feel free to add on your own!)
When I first started practicing yoga, I would mentally document all of the calories I was burning and carefully examine my body for subtle changes in shape and tone. Eventually I realized that the real development I was undergoing wasn’t immediately visible in a mirror—the changes to my attitude, spirit and self-esteem may not have been visual indicators, but they spoke much louder than weight loss ever could.
When Fat People Do Yoga (elephant journal)